February 2013

2013.  I keep saying and writing it, but really haven't assimilated.  Another year.  Another anniversary.  Another madcap Christmas with our combined families.  A five year old.  An almost three year old.  I know I am part of this journey, every day... but I often pause and think, "when/how did that happen?"  "How is it 2013?"  We have to register for kindergarten next month.  School.  I'm not even going to try and find words for the maelstrom of conflicting emotions that threaten to unhinge me when I dwell too long on my baby in school.  Some of the feelings are common to mothers everywhere since the inception of centralized education; some are new and tinged with an unspeakable anxiety particular to this age, these days of fear and uncertainty that you might be next.  And you cannot let that dominate.  But I find I cannot pretend it isn't there, either.  So, we dance, internally ~  between faith and fear and strength and paralysis ~ and hope for the best.  But I really didn't want to write about that.  :-)

Big Brother is a clever child, who loves books.  He is doing well in phonics and sounds out words, though frustrates easily.  He is fiercely independent and draws a dozen pictures a day.  His people are now recognizable as such, and often produces robots, spaceships, dinosaurs, and intricate scenarios in his art, which he is eager to explain.  He likes to "shoot" things, and wields a light "saver" (think Star Wars) when he isn't shooting bad guys.  I don't understand where this driving urge to kill imaginary things originates, and we have lots and lots and lots of talks about it (and, see first paragraph) he understands that there are no weapons at school, ever.  Even in Pre-K, there is a subzero tolerance policy in this brave new world.  Mostly, however, he is a delight.  He is clever and funny and verbal and imaginative.  We joke that he will be a director on stage or film, as he scripts out these elaborate scenes and conversations, give you your part/lines:  "Okay, Mommy.  I am going to curl up on the sofa and you try to sit down and you say, 'oh, this feels like a rock.  Wait, it isn't a rock, it is a whale shark.  No, wait, it is an egg.' and then I will wiggle and you say, 'my egg is hatching!' and then I will hatch and you can feed me and then you see that I need a home, so you will bring me home to live with you."  And let me tell you what, if you don't hit your mark or forget a line, watch out!!!  Then you see the quick to frustrate temper tears.  He is a champ of an eater, which is more than I can say for Little Brother.  LB seems to think cheese, hot dogs, french fries, bread, ketchup, and applesauce are the only necessary food groups.  He talks a lot, and is curious and demanding.  He is also an inspired dancer.  He, too, loves books and we spend a lot of time reading together, which makes Mom and Dad very happy. LB is our fearless child, BB is a bit more risk averse in general.   At the risk of oversimplification, is seems that the older child is a bit more like me in temperament, while the younger is a little more like his Daddy.  It will be fun to see how that plays out over time.  We are potty training, and I am very eager for the day when diapers are a thing of the past.  Of course, that will be another one of those transitions which will likely sneak up on my heart in ways I don't now foresee as other pieces of furniture are outgrown.  Though I like to think I won't wax as nostalgic about the changing table as I did the crib.  We shall see.

Have I mentioned lately that this is just fun?  We laugh a lot, I am funnier by the day, if you ask my boys.  I am so incredibly fortunate in my husband and the father of our children.  He balances me in good ways, keeps me from being too type A when he can, and supports me with the patience of a seasoned crisis hostage negotiator psychiatrist on Valium.  Without a prescription, God love him.  :-)   I could easily write a long love letter of a post to my amazing man ~ I'll give some thought to how that should go.

My four minutes of quiet time for this week are over now.  See you in the funny papers.

Our future paleontologist

Five year old birthday breakfast snack

Defenders of the universe...